Slut.

A nice essay for a nice Sunday afternoon.

Possibly the Gayest Thing Ever.

But really.

I Am Offended

My foremothers didn't bleed all over dance floors so you could wear orthopedic heels.

They're just so ugly. Though with some DIY perhaps suitable for exercise.

Him from Powerpuff Girls

I somehow never realized there was a drag queen crab Satan on a children's show when I watched it all the time. It just didn't seem weird.

The cartoons of my childhood seem especially batshit in retrospect.

Bestiality, Human Sacrifice, Incest, Bondage, Leopards, and DAVID BOWIE

iTunes says this 1982 movie is about "a beautiful young woman on the bridge of sexuality; she discovers love for the first time only to find that the explosive experience brings with it tragic consequences."

What it's REALLY about is this secret race of people that turn into giant black leopards whenever they have sex with anyone they aren't related to and they can't change back until they kill a human.

Cat People (Putting Out Fire) by David Bowie was written for this movie. I think the song is a lot more famous than the movie because the movie is fucking WEIRD! David's not actually in it. It would be a million times better if he were.

People Wonder What Goths Do In The Summer

We dance.

It's A Walking Dress

Can't You Tell?

I Long For This

But that's probably just because I've never had to wear one.

It's Not Really Your Style If You Have To Buy A Book To Do It

Be yourself, kids. If you are really a prep deep down inside, then you don't need a handbook, do you? No one can tell you how to be you, so don't let them and certainly don't give them money for doing so.

Hello School

This is how you make me feel.

J.D. Salinger's Ghost Loves It.

Yes.

This Is Clearly What Was Going On Inside the Women's Correctional Facility

Normally it's The Devil Made Me Do It's job to supply us with our Gaga fix but I saw the video for "Telephone" for the first time today and: for real, Lady Gaga? There's exactly three minutes of exposition in which you wear sunglasses made of lit cigarettes [which is apparently how you attract women in prison] and wears soda cans as curlers before the music video even starts. Though props for such a tasteful way to refute the popular myth about having a penis. And the hyper-erotic food death sequence.

P.S. Product placements much? In one watching of this video I caught Virgin Mobile, plentyoffish.com, Miracle Whip, Polaroid, and Wonderbread.

P.P.S. Kill Bill reference noted.

Spider-Turtle-Frog

I really identify with this picture and I really can't figure out why.

At Least She Knows Her Boundaries.

Life Tip #287

My Latest TV Vampire

Mitchell from BBC's Being Human, with a plot that sounds like the beginning to a bad joke.

A vampire, a werewolf, and a ghost rent a house together in England... and then they walk into a bar and the bartender says...

It's actually really good. I stayed up all last night and watched nearly the entire first season (I had about a half hour left of the last episode when I went to bed at dawn).

We Will Eat You After We Eat Your Children

True Blood.

Yeah.

Meet The Tamponettes

Out on a Saturday's night.

By Shimon Okshteyn

I'm Going To See This Movie

And see it again.

Because Natalie Portman turns into a MOTHERFUCKING SWAN!