The Angstageddon! It's coming!

Once upon a time there were no tampons in three out of the four girls' bathrooms. We complained to the front office. Now there are magical tampon bowls. We are the tampon heroes of our elitist prep school. And how fine it is!

Friday, August 13, 2010

And Now For Something Completely Different: Uploading Audiobook CDs to iTunes

This isn't a technology blog.
But I founded this blog and I'll put whatever I damn well please.

First, the rant: Okay, folks, I have trouble sleeping and ever since I was a wee child, nothing puts me at ease and allows me to sleep like the sound of JIM DALE READING ME HARRY POTTER! For this reason, I not only read all the Harry Potter books, but listened to them as well ON TAPE (what the hell is that?)! If you want to upload taped audiobooks to your iTunes I can't help you. Actually, I can, but I don't feel like it because it is a bit more complicated.

But tapes are SO OVER! So, I bought the later Harry Potter audiobooks on iTunes, iTunes, like so many gods, giveth and taketh as it pleases. In case it escaped your notice, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows IS NOT on iTunes? Why? People say they argue about the digital rights, only having bought the digital rights to 1-6. That was three years ago. Now I have no idea what's going on. Write an angry letter to Listening Library and Apple and Scholastic or whatever.

That's not to say the audiobook doesn't exist. For a MERE FIFTY TO EIGHTY dollars YOU TOO can own Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows as read by Jim Dale! This is what I did.

But now you are faced with a problem: you have seventeen discs in lovely orange packaging, and a very tedious job switching them out every hour or hauling them around with you. This is what iPods are for, right? Or iPhones or iPads and all that? BUT I CAN'T GET IT ALL TOGETHER IN THE AUDIOBOOK SECTION ALL NICE LIKE I'M USED TO HAVING MY AUDIOBOOKS! It's just these horrid 4 minute tracks and this massive amount of them and you probably put them on a playlist and are maybe a bit miffed, right? Maybe you looked on the internet and found it was really complicated and for a version of iTunes that you don't have because it's outdated or the software cost $10 and all you really want is to have a nice audiobook because you already spent so much money on these discs?

Never fear, loves, I believe I've found a solution.
  1. Place disc 1 in drive
  2. DO NOT upload it. Yet.
  3. Get track names. It should come up, but if it doesn't, highlight the tracks and go to Advanced and click Get Track Names. Depending on your audiobook, you might have a few options to choose from. Be consistent. If the "artist" is the author, choose that one all the way through, or the same if the "artist" is the person who read it aloud.
  4. I DON'T ACTUALLY KNOW IF YOU HAVE TO DO THIS STEP. But I had already done it for seven of the discs, and I wasn't going to go back if I screwed it up. Highlight all the tracks. Go to Advanced and hit Join Tracks.
  5. Import the CD as a single track. It makes it easier to deal with. If there is a way to join tracks after the book has been uploaded, then I couldn't find it.
  6. Upload all the discs this way.
  7. HERE'S THE GOOD BIT! Highlight THE ENTIRE BOOK. Right click, hit Get Info. Make sure the ALBUM ARTIST and ALBUM names are all the same or you will have seventeen different Audiobooks.
  8. While still in Get Info, go to Options, tell iTunes it is an audiobook, not music, by dropping down the window labeled Media Kind and changing it from Music to Audiobook.
  9. The book should now disappear from your music library. It will appear in the Books section, and will likely not have cover art. You can look up the cover art online and input it using Get Info if you wish.
I hope this helps. I know I was really frustrated. And if you found this by Google Search, look around the rest of the blog! It's madness!

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