It's Hump Day Again

Celebrate with sexy latin songs.

It's Mustache Monday

We realize it's Wednesday. We simply cannot be expected to remember the days of the week.

Just Bought This For Ten Bucks On eBay

I am so excited.

It is little girl sized.

I also realized yesterday that if I had listened to the educational Sailor Says messages at the end of every Sailor Moon episode, most of the problems in my life could have been avoided. Just sayin'.

In Soviet Russia

Sprite drinks you!

This blog has gone from Mustache Blog to Poetry Blog to Russian Blog in one weekend.

Russia is clearly the flavor of today.

And I want that ladies outfit.

Somewhere In Russia

A woman is hallucinating.

Be Hypnotized by the Vagina

Are You This Happy?

Well, are you?

I didn't think so.

Read Something Dumb Today

Crystal was playing badminton and talking about eating phallic food when she found a magic castle in a graveyard full of zombies. Her skirt flutters up. A lot. She even has hello kitty bandaids!

Crystal and the Magic Crystal - Chapter 1 - Page 2

Click Me

To lose some brain-cells.

I Hope This Gets Circulated Around The Internet With Great Rapidity

Written by moi

Agree Or Disagree?

Discuss.

Hey Allen Ginsberg Where Have You Gone and What Would You Think of My Drugs?

From moustache blog to poetry blog. Sorry, my B.

Anyway, I have a lifelong mission to write "The Ultimate Jew Poem" which is basically the poem that best expresses the complications, subtleties, beauty, and sheer oddness of being a Jewish-y, Atheist-y thing.

And I believe this lady has accomplished that. Rachel Zucker, take it away.

" I am here because of this.
Because of what my ancestors did for me to tell this
story of the outstretched hand what it did for me this
marked door and behind this red-marked door, around
a corner a blue-eyed boy waits to love me up with his 
leavened bread, his slim body, professional detachment, 
medical advancements, forgive me my father's mother's
father was the last in a long line of Rabbis—again! with this? This
rhapsody of affliction and escape, the mind bobbing along
in its watery safe. Be like everyone. Else. Indistinguishable but
better than the other nations but that's what got us into this, Allen,
no one writes these long-ass poems anymore.  Now we're
better, all better.  All Christian.  Kind."

Click Me, Bitch.

Also, as a side note: "Queer Jews: Putting the 'Men' Back in Menorah"

I See Your Bukowski

And I raise you Jimmy.

He just oozes sexuality. Look at what he's doing with his lips. I sense a gay-crush coming on.

"One afternoon, red, satyr-thighed

Michael, the Irish setter, head

Passionately lowered, led

The child I was to a shut door. Inside,

Blinds beat sun from the bed.

The green-gold room throbbed like a bruise.

Under a sheet, clad in taboos

Lay whom we sought, her hair undone, outspread,

And of a blackness found, if ever now, in old

Engravings where the acid bit.

I must have needed to touch it

Or the whiteness—was she dead?

Her eyes flew open, startled strange and cold.

The dog slumped to the floor. She reached for me. I fled."

Click ME

James Merrill [March 3, 1926 – February 6, 1995]

p.s.

Beloved Head Tamponette: not all of us can sit around all day posting moos-tashes. I try. I really do. But you're a tough act to follow/keep up with.

Looks Like Someone Crashed The Mustache Party

From Awkward Family Photos

Dear Tamponettes,

Please contribute or I will make this a mustache blog.

What is it with me and mustaches?

It's the flavor of the week.

Fabulous Party Theme

The Mustache Party

Click Me to learn how to throw one

Blogkowski

"and the footsteps never arrive
until much later
when my stomach is coming up
out of my mouth
they arrive as fresh as spring flowers:
"what the hell have you done to yourself?
it will be 3 days before you can fuck me!""

Click Me

"what you were
will not happen again.
the tigers have found me
and I do not care."

Click Me

The Wireless Networks Of Others

We want to walk around the neighborhood with our iPhone till we find the source of this ASS signal. We could use some ASS...

This appeared on my MacBook while in my bed (I don't understand how I get different wireless networks every so often. I am in the same damn spot...) but it is ever so delightful to go around looking at the names of people's wireless networks with one's iPhone. There was once one called PenisPizza.

Tip for Single Ladies:

"don't drink too much, as a man expects you to keep your dignity all evening. drinking may make some girls seem clever, but most get silly."

Public Service Announcement from the Tampon Heroes:

you never know what could be hiding down there.

buried treasure?

Thanks, Condescending Sandwich Man!

She wants to tell him about all the "man-sized jobs" she did in alleyways before she worked for the factory.

It Occurs To Us, We Haven't Seen Any Wasps In Years

One of the benefits of staying inside.

We have seen plenty of W.A.S.P.s though.

The flipside of staying inside.

To Forgive is Human, to Err

Divine!

October 19, 1945 – March 7, 1988

[Divine was kind of cute of in high school...]

Poetry That Makes Grown Men Cry

we may be richbitches but man we got dem blues

100 Most Beautiful Words in English

CLICK ME

i'd love for you to be my surreptitious susquehanna

More On Incognito Mode

So I hit New Incognito Mode Window to see what this thing was and a blank window opened with a page that said this:

You've gone incognito. Pages you view in this window won't appear in your browser history or search history, and they won't leave other traces, like cookies, on your computer after you close the incognito window. Any files you download or bookmarks you create will be preserved, however.

Going incognito doesn't affect the behavior of other people, servers, or software. Be wary of:

• Websites that collect or share information about you
• Internet service providers or employers that track the pages you visit
• Malicious software that tracks your keystrokes in exchange for free smileys
• Surveillance by secret agents
• People standing behind you

Why am I worried about secret agents and people standing behind me if I am planning "surprises"?

Is That A Hairball On Your Couch Or Are You Just Happy To See Me?

We envy her portrait of a three-headed woman. And her Rooster.

Though we wonder why LIFE and Google want us to look at black and white pictures of Irish Americans.

Mustaches of the Nineteenth Century

Apparently, this Civil War vet Ambrose Burnside gave his name to the sideburn. Or so this blog tells us.

This is the first Mustache Monday. I know it's Tuesday, but it's Monday in India. I think. Anyway, I'm always late for everything. But here's a Mustache for Monday. Enjoy it.

I See Your Russian Writer

And Raise You Nabokov

A Russian For Mid-Afternoon Tea

How much rape and elitism is in YOUR thinly-veiled-fantasy-as-a-novel?

But she is pretty fabulous. Who else could pull off that hat like that?

Alisa Zinov'yevna Rosenbaum [Ayn Rand] 1905-1982

A faboo (though perhaps anachronistic) side-note: in 19th century Russia it became fashionable to drink tea with the sugar cube held between your teeth.

Things We Love...

Public nudity.

She wears it well.

A Russian For Today

And a mustache for tomorrow!

Никола́й II, Никола́й Алекса́ндрович
Nikolay Alexandrovich Romanov
Born-19 May 1868
Died-17 July 1918
Reign-November 1, 1894 – March 15, 1917
Title-Nicholas II, Emperor and Autocrat of All the Russias

All the Russias? Is there more than one? But the first one is so very large...

It's Still Hump Day

But it's Spring Break!

So celebrate with The Smiths!

It's Hump Day

Celebrate with a naked, furry Robert Downey Jr.!

Also, we must have Lionel's apartment from Fur.

Giant hot tub included.

With RDJ in it.

So there.

We Must Have It

It's a good thing we already do!

Things That Interest Us

Over-the-knee Boots

And Leather Pants

But Never Together.

Too Much Leather.

If You Thought Telephone Was Weird...

You were clearly born before the 80s.

In a jungle of the senses
Tinkerbell and Jack the ripper
Love has no meaning, not where they come from
But we know pleasure is not that simple
Very little fruit is forbidden
Sometimes we wobble, sometimes we're strong
But you know evil is an exact science
Being carefully correctly wrong

Priests and cannibals, prehistoric animals
Everybody happy as the dead come home
Big Black Nemesis, parthenogenesis
No one move a muscle as the dead come home

We feel like Greeks, we feel like Romans
Centaurs and monkeys just cluster round us
We drink elixirs that we refine
from the juices of the dying
We are no monsters, we're moral people
and yet we have the strength to do this
This is the splendour of our achievement
Call in the airstrike with a poison kiss

Priests and cannibals, prehistoric animals
Everybody happy as the dead come home
Big black nemesis, parthenogenesis
No-one move a muscle as the dead come home

How bad it gets, you can't imagine
the burning wax, the breath of reptiles
god is not mocked, he knows our business
Karma could take us at any moment
Cover him up.....I think we're finished
You know it's never been so exotic
but I don't know, my dreams are visions
We could still end up with the great big fishes

Priests and cannibals, prehistoric animals
Everybody happy as the dead come home
Big black nemesis, parthenogenesis
No-one move a muscle as the dead come home

We Haven't Been There

Yet.

We found this at the now defunct Planet Fabulon

But feel free to pop over to our favorite blog, Chateau Thombeau, for similar madness.

Keep Yourself Fit, Darlings!

Ah. It makes me almost miss Yoga.

I Can Get A Shirt With The Hair of Communists On It!

And Neil Gaiman too!

Click Me

To buy one today!

Let's Make A Sandwich!

Watch Me.

Why must it be posted on yet another blog? Because she has Diet Coke cans in her hair. That's why.

Google Chrome: Porn Heroes of Planet Internet

Explore Google Chrome features: Incognito mode (private browsing)

For times when you want to browse in stealth mode, for example, to plan surprises like gifts or birthdays, Google Chrome offers the incognito browsing mode. Here's how the incognito mode works:

• Webpages that you open and files downloaded while you are incognito aren't recorded in your browsing and download histories.
• All new cookies are deleted after you close all incognito windows that you've opened.

from here

This made us laugh. This is clearly for looking at porn and not "to plan surprises". Well done, Google Chrome, well done.