They Need A Record

Because I need them. Click the video and watch it on YouTube because I can't get this blog to quit cutting off videos on the side.

Somewhere On Planet Gaga

This sort of thing happens.

So much to chat about, but I'll try not to get too wordy. This isn't a word blog.

Okay. So I thought this song was about conducting trysts with multiple (?) Mexicans, or at least latin persons who are hot like Mexico. Possibly just one individual named Alejandro Fernando Roberto. Or something like that.

But this music video is some sort of Steampunk-esque Cabaret-influenced WWII debacle starring Lady Gaga. I think if I ever saw her anywhere, I wouldn't recognize her, because she looks so different in every music video. It's the wigs and makeup. You can do a lot with contouring.

Also, someone had better call Thombeau. I think he might have lost some of his Houseboys to Lady Gaga's version of WWII. I was a bit uncomfortable with the dancing Nazis. I recognize she is drawing from WWII movies, but the Holocaust isn't entertaining. Not ever.

This is why I like Lady Gaga. In her performances and videos, she gives us this view into some strange reality that I identify with and prefer. Nobody dies like they do in real life. They just dance around. Or turn into light. And even sadness is beautiful. I think Planet Gaga is near my home planet. Some day I will return. I don't want to die here on Planet Richbitch.

Also, at the end, when she dies, THAT is what it looks like when you Return to Fabulon, which is, of course, what happens when fabulous people die. I hope it will happen to me.

In other news, Madonna's cone bra has been trumped by Lady Gaga's gun bra.

Well, Are You?

Story of Our Lives

"I was in my room and I was just like staring at the wall thinking about everything, but then again I was thinking about nothing. And then my mom came in, and I didn't even know she was there. She called my name and I didn't hear her and then she started screaming “Mike, Mike!” And I go “what? What's the matter?” She goes “what's the matter with you?” I go “there's nothing wrong, mom.” Shes all “don't tell me that! You're on drugs!” I go “no mom, I'm not on drugs. I'm ok, I'm just thinking, you know? Why don't you get me a Pepsi?” She goes “No! You're on drugs!” I go “mom, I'm ok. I'm just thinking.” She goes “No! You're not thinking, you're on drugs! Normal people don't act in that way!” I go “mom, just get me a Pepsi! Please, all I want is a Pepsi!” And she wouldn't give it to me! All I wanted was a Pepsi, just one Pepsi, and she wouldn't give it to me! Just a Pepsi!"

This Song Changed My Life A Year Ago

From Crass' 1981 album Penis Envy.

I don't know anything about Eve Libertine and Joy de Vivre except that they must have been badasses.

I Hope This Is What Japan Is Really Like

I'm confused about their opening. Don't give it up? Abstinence?

We all know what Cat's going to say:

My Sailor Moon backpack is affecting my brain.

I Am Hypnotized By The Hair

I hope it was billed separately.

Personal Philosophy

The chorus pretty sums up my feelings on love.

I don't know what it is and I don't want to be hurt anymore.

Yeah. That's pretty much it.

And what is the videoblog thing Tampon Heroes has become?

Ah well. We here at Tampon Heroes call 'em like we see 'em.

Whatever that means.

It's Hump Day Again

Celebrate with sexy latin songs.

It's Still Hump Day

But it's Spring Break!

So celebrate with The Smiths!

If You Thought Telephone Was Weird...

You were clearly born before the 80s.

In a jungle of the senses
Tinkerbell and Jack the ripper
Love has no meaning, not where they come from
But we know pleasure is not that simple
Very little fruit is forbidden
Sometimes we wobble, sometimes we're strong
But you know evil is an exact science
Being carefully correctly wrong

Priests and cannibals, prehistoric animals
Everybody happy as the dead come home
Big Black Nemesis, parthenogenesis
No one move a muscle as the dead come home

We feel like Greeks, we feel like Romans
Centaurs and monkeys just cluster round us
We drink elixirs that we refine
from the juices of the dying
We are no monsters, we're moral people
and yet we have the strength to do this
This is the splendour of our achievement
Call in the airstrike with a poison kiss

Priests and cannibals, prehistoric animals
Everybody happy as the dead come home
Big black nemesis, parthenogenesis
No-one move a muscle as the dead come home

How bad it gets, you can't imagine
the burning wax, the breath of reptiles
god is not mocked, he knows our business
Karma could take us at any moment
Cover him up.....I think we're finished
You know it's never been so exotic
but I don't know, my dreams are visions
We could still end up with the great big fishes

Priests and cannibals, prehistoric animals
Everybody happy as the dead come home
Big black nemesis, parthenogenesis
No-one move a muscle as the dead come home

We Haven't Been There

Yet.

We found this at the now defunct Planet Fabulon

But feel free to pop over to our favorite blog, Chateau Thombeau, for similar madness.

Let's Make A Sandwich!

Watch Me.

Why must it be posted on yet another blog? Because she has Diet Coke cans in her hair. That's why.